


The Exception

by PeterStark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Coming back to life, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Depression, Drowning, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter Parker, I Made Myself Cry, Inspired by Deadpool, Irondad, Lady Death - Freeform, Lady Death adores Peter, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Pepper Potts, Resurrection, Seriously that one scene is heartbreaking, Some comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Survivor Guilt, not enough though, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark
Summary: It was the worst sort of torture. Peter could feel the warmth of Tony's hands, but not the texture...just warmth through a wall that separated him from everything he loved. He could feel the warmth and a muffled thud-thud.If he could just get through, he'd finally be at peace.Peter just wants to die. Death isn't having any of that shit.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 207





	The Exception

**Author's Note:**

> I found this story hanging out as well. Seems par for the course that I had one that was fluffy and one that was all angst.  
> Mind the tags. It litterally starts with a suicide so... please be careful.
> 
> This is heavily inspired by that scene in Deadpool 2 where Wade just can't die. 

Peter looked down at the water. It was a good idea he hadn't worn his suit. Karen would have said something, called for help...stopped him. He couldn't stand the sound of her voice, he knew where the concern in her tone came from, it came from the man who programed her, the man that wasn't their anymore... Peter closed his eyes. He was Peter Parker right now, not Spiderman, so no one driving in their cars looked at him, no one walking on the bridge looked up from their phones or away from their partners.

Peter didn't have anything to worry about really...not anymore. He had no one left and no one to go home to. Once the system caught up with him...he wasn't going to live through that, because then he'd lose his identity on top of everything-everyone-else.

He climbed up onto the rail, closed his eyes.

"Peter, larb, please get down, don't do this." He could almost hear May's voice.

"Kid, don't do this, please. There's always another way. Step back down, underoos. People need you."

But that was just it, all the people who had ever wanted him were dead.

"You're not always right, Mr. Stark." Peter muttered to the ghost in his head.

"Not always, but I am this time, kid. Don't."

Peter shook his head and leaned forward. It would all be better soon enough. He could finally be with his family again. The water was cold as ice and shocking. Peter felt his stomach drop as he landed in the water, sinking deep with his momentum. He hadn't taken in a breath above, but he didn't want to wait for the panic to set in or for his lungs to start burning. 

'I'm sorry.' He thought and took a deep breath.

-

Peter woke up in a place that was familiar. It was his childhood home, the one he'd lived in with his Mom and Dad...he had faint memories of it, but being back in the kitchen brought recognition, and...home. He was home.

"Oh, don't worry, we all did silly things like that. Peter was just as curious and stubborn as a little kid, too, always tearing things apart to see how they worked. We had to take away his toys for a week, so, bad decision or not in hindsight, the suit-taking was justified." A warm voice laughed.

"Mom?" Peter asked, heading through the kitchen toward the voices.

"I still feel bad, he wouldn't have gotten hurt if I'd been a bit more...thoughtful. The kid made me panic though..."

"My God! When I saw him in that suit for the first time I nearly had a heart attack, but I was so proud at the same time, you know?" Aunt May's voice was just the same as it had been.

"And that's why we have the weekly 'Parenting Peter Parker' meetings...we gotta stop future heartattacks while still thinking of ways to protected the Spider-baby who is definitely too precious for...like...anything." His dad laughed. God, it had been so long since he'd heard that laugh.

"I can't help but feel a bit responsible for that turn into crime fighting..." Ben sighed. "If there is a future life after the afterlife, can I make a mental note not to go out after dark?" He joked.

"But after dark is when all the parties happen." Tony said.

"I just hope he's being taken care of... You said Pepper would look after him, right?" May asked, worried.

Peter froze in the dinning room. All of his family was there. Mom, Dad, May, Ben, and Tony. They were all sitting in the living room of his childhood home, talking like it was common for them.

Tony didn't answer May. Instead, he stood up and looked at Peter with wide eyes. "Oh...Peter, no..."

"Oh my God!" Mom shouted, covering her mouth. "Baby, why are you here? You shouldn't be here."

"Why are you all wet?" May wondered.

"You must be freezing." Ben whispered.

A tear ran down Tony's cheek. "Kid...why?"

"Why what?" His dad asked, then froze and covered his mouth. "Oh, Peter. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"You're...you're all here. I can...God, it's so good to see all of you. I missed you." Peter ran forward, ready to leap into the arms of his loved ones, but where the hardwood of the dinning room met the carpet of the living room, he met an invisible wall. "What? No! Let me through."

"Oh, Peter, no, not now, baby." May walked forward and put her hand on the barrier. "You shouldn't be dead, you gotta live."

"I don't want to, May. There's nothing left back there."

"Peter, of course there is." His mother spoke gently, stepping forward, her hand in his dad's.

"NO THERE ISN'T! I've fucked EVERYTHING up!"

"Peter, no, you didn't." Tony shook his head.

"Yes I did! If I hadn't gotten sick I would have been on the plane with you." Peter said, pointing to his mom and dad. "And I would have died like I was supposed to, but I didn't so now I'm cursed. I saddled Aunt May and Uncle Ben with a sickly kid they never asked for. I got my powers and I couldn't save you Ben! I tried, but I couldn't get there fast enough and you died! It was my fault. And Dad-Tony, if I'd been stronger I would have gotten the gauntlet off and the Snap would have never happened and you could be at home with your family! And May...if I would've gone with you to the store I could've stopped the crash from happening! But I didn't. I got you all killed. I ruined all of your lives. If I would've just died like I was supposed to, none of this would've happened. I'm just...I'm tired. No matter how hard I fight, everyone close to me dies... I can't live like this anymore. Please. Please, just let me in." Peter banged on the barrier and sobbed, collapsed, and continued to slam his hands against the wall.

Tony walked forward and knelt down, crouching in front of Peter. "Sh, underoos. It's alright. Sh... Breathe, please, breathe."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark. If it weren't for me you'd still be with Pepper and Morgan. I'm so, so sorry."

"Breathe, kid. Please... It's alright. You never did anything wrong, I promise. None of what happened to any of us is on you, I promise, kid. Breathe, son." Tony placed his hands on the other sides of Peter's on the barrier.

It was the worst sort of torture. Peter could feel the warmth of Tony's hands, but not the texture...just warmth through a wall that separated him from everything he loved. He could feel the warmth and a muffled thud-thud.

"I can hear it..." Peter sobbed.

"What, Peter?" Tony asked.

"I can hear your heart beating." Peter barely got the words out. The last time he'd been this close to Tony, he'd listened to it stop, listened to it give up...sensed as his body shut down slowly. God...Peter had even been able to sense the exact second the brilliant brain of Tony Stark finally stopped firing. Peter had counted the seconds. 273 seconds after Tony's heart had stopped, his brain had stopped working, everything had stopped then. There was no going back from that, Peter had had to feel it, the way no one else had. The same way Peter had had to feel his being tear into Dust. No one else had felt it, Peter had. Peter seemed to always get the shitty end of the stick.

Tony, seemed to understand instantly. "Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry you had to be there for that."

"I can't, Da-Mr. Stark. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. Please, please just let me come in." Peter sobbed, leaning his head against the wall. He felt cold, the warmth of Tony's hands was so appealing. He just wanted to cross over, to be in those warm arms. Would Mr. Stark hug him again? Were they still there?

Tears ran down Tony's cheeks. "I'm sorry, kid. I can't. I love you, but it's not your time, underoos. I promise, one day you can come right through, when you're good and old and you've had lots of kids and grandkids and you've lived a long good life."

"How can I live a good life with nothing? I've lost everything. I miss all of you." Peter looked up at all of them, all the ones he'd lost. His mother, his father, and though he couldn't remember them as well, just seeing the kindness and love in their faces made his heart ache. His Aunt May and Uncle Ben, both of them looked on with love and sorrow. And his Dad...Tony, he looked heartbroken, stern, angry, loving, understanding...there were so many emotions on his face. "Please.... I have nothing left. Let me stay."

"I'm putting my foot down on this one, son." Tony shook his head.

"We agree." His mom said. "You have so much to live for, Peter. They've told us all of the amazing things you're doing. You're so bright and brilliant and you're a hero and you have so many friends. Peter, you have to keep going."

"I can't." Peter whispered, his voice hollow, and empty. "I can't live anymore, it hurts." Peter shivered with the cold. Why was he feeling so cold? And his chest...it hurt. Why? "Dad, please don't make me. I can't. Don't make me go, Dad. I wanna stay." He pounded his hands against the wall where Tony's were. But as he fought against the wall, he lost the sensation of warmth. Instead of slamming against the wall, he pushed as hard as he could against it. He wished his hands could go through it and grab that warmth, but even with all his enhanced strength he couldn't get through.

"Please, kid, go back. Go to Pepper. She'll take care of you, I promise. You'll be the best big brother to Morgan, she'll need you. Pepper loves you, Pete and she is a wonderful mother. She'll take such good care of you."

Peter shook his head. "I can't live in that house without you. I can't look Pepper in the eyes, Dad. I can't...not knowing I could have done better, not knowing I could have saved you if I were just good enough. And Morgan...she doesn't have a dad because of me and I-"

"No, kid, it's not your fault. I made my decision, this one's on me. It's my fault, okay? And someday I'm going to have to explain that to Morgan and I'm terrified, but it is NEVER on you. Do you hear me, kid? You need to go back, okay? You need to get help, okay? There's no shame in it. It's okay to grieve and move on, kid. I want you to. Go to Pepper, or Ned's, you'll be fine. You're so strong, you can do this, Peter. I promise."

"I. Can't. Have you ever carried this much...guilt before?" Peter tried to catch his breath, but it was hard to breathe. God, his chest hurt. It was like someone was pounding on it, hard.

"Well, you can't stay here." A new voice said. "I won't allow it, not yet."

Peter turned and paused. There was a woman in a cloak, sitting at the dinning room table. His spidersense went crazy just by seeing her. "Who are you?"

"Lady Death." The woman shrugged. "You're running out of time. You should say goodbye to them. You're about to wake up in the land of the living."

"NO!" Peter stood up, but then collapsed, his body felt so heavy. His lungs ached. He felt cold and sore and his chest hurt. The only warmth left was through the barrier, where Tony's hands were. He wanted to be there, with that warmth. Living was just full of cold...he wanted the warmth beyond the barrier, beyond death. "I can't go back!"

"Oh, sweetie. You should be flattered. I usually like bringing people over to the other side, it is my job. You should be flatered that I like you and would just feel horrible watching you die young. You're just such a sweetheart."

"Then why did you take everyone I love from me?" Peter asked, tears running down his face.

"What do you mean?"

"If you wanted me to stay alive, you wouldn't have taken everything from me and left me with nothing."

Lady Death tilted her head, then shrugged.

This lady would be no help, Peter could tell. He turned back to his family, all of them dead. He, apparently, wasn't allowed to die, wasn't allowed to be with them. "Please, I just wanna stay. I don't wanna go. Please. I don't wanna go. I love you guys, I want to stay." His whole family was right there, pressed close together. If the wall wasn't between them, they'd all be in a group hug, judging by how close they were.

"It's alright. We're all okay. We're all together and happy and safe. It's okay, but you've got to go live your life, okay?" His father said.

"I know it's hard, Peter, but you're the toughest kid I know, you can do it." Ben smiled.

"We love you, baby, we're so proud of you, but you have to keep living for us, okay?" His mom blew him a kiss and pressed her hand to his.

"Larb you, baby. I'm so proud." May smiled gently.

Peter looked at Tony for help. If anyone could help him beat this wall down, if anyone could hold him together... "Dad...I..."

"I love you, Peter, so much. I love you, son. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But I do. I love you as a son. Have for so long."

"I love you too..." Peter whispered, looking at all of his family. He was having a hard time breathing. "I love all of you. I want to stay here with you."

"It's okay, baby, we can wait. We'll still be here for you, promise. We love you."

"I lov-" Peter couldn't breath. He opened his mouth, but he couldn't get air. "Hel-help."

Tony looked like he'd been struck, watching as Peter gasped for air that wasn't there.

"Mm. Time to go." Lady Death walked forward.

Peter shook his head and reached forward, trying, pounding on the veil. If he could just break through he could stay. If he could get through before she touched him, he knew he could stay with them.

"Come on, Peter Parker, not now." Lady Death was half-way to him.

Peter felt weak, dizzy, a little ill, but mostly terrified. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay. He pounded with all his might against the veil. His hand, somehow, broke through. His fingertips found Tony's hand and his eyes widened. He could feel it, the warmth, the heat, the life. He had to stay. He needed to stay with his Dad, with his parents, with his aunt and uncle...with the people he loved. He gripped Tony tight, hoping if he held on tight enough Lady Death couldn't pull him away. Tony, for his part, held on just as tight, his grip hot and solid and real, so real.

An icy hand landed on his shoulder. He wasn't strong enough to resist her.

-

Peter gagged and turned, coughing up water. His body hurt. He was freezing cold. Life hurt so fucking much. He could still feel the lingering warmth of Tony's hand in his. But that warmth was fading thanks to cold, stupid life.

"Peter, thank God! What were you thinking?!"

"M-Miss Potts?" Peter asked, once he was done gagging. "Why are you here?"

Pepper was dressed in the Rescue armor Tony made for her, which was likely the only way she could have been strong enough to get Peter's heart pumping again. "FRIDAY sent me an alert...about May and I... I came to check on you. What were you thinking? Do you know how-" She sighed heavily. "I'm just glad you're alive." She stepped out of the armor and pulled him to her chest. 

"I.... I'm sorry, Pepper. I'm so sorry." Peter wasn't appologizing for the suicide attempt. No, he still wanted to jump off the bridge. He was sorry that he'd gotten Tony killed. Everyone he came near died, no matter how hard he tried.

"Oh, honey, you have nothing to be sorry for. I don't blame you for a single damn thing, except for the bridge part, this is all on you and I don't know if I can forgive you for it."

Peter froze. Pepper didn't blame him?

"Oh, hon, you're just like Tony. He took on so much guilt all the time, but it was never on him and this isn't on you. I promise." She held him tighter. "We're going to get you some help, okay? I had to get help too, we'll get you help and it'll get easier, I promise. You gotta stay with me though. Do you know how angry Tony'd be if I let anything happen to you? Do you know how bad I'd feel if my kid got hurt because I wasn't there? Tony and I always saw you as family, Peter, you're our kid, even if not by blood. I know you were closer to him, but I feel it too, so don't you dare go leaving me, kid. Morgan would be very, very angry."

"Pep...I just can't do this anymore. It's all so...empty and lonely."

"I know it feels that way sometimes...I feel it too, but we can, I promise. We can do it."

Peter didn't agree, but Pepper was warm, so he leaned against her to get the cold to fade.

-

Tony gasped and opened his eyes to darkness. The air was stale, barely there. He'd gone from trying to soothe his kid in the afterlife to waking up in...shit. He was burried, wasn't he? How the fuck was he alive? He reached up and found the lid of the coffin above him. Great. Sure, he was alive, but he'd suffocate to death anyways. That'd be fun to look forward to. Couldn't he just stay fucking dead...or at least wake up somewhere better?

The lid ripped open all the sudden and dirt fell on him. Tony closed his eyes against the bright light and then blinked blearily. "This is it, Tony Stark. Last chance. I'm not doing this for you either. I'm not dealing with my one ray of golden sunshine living depressed because he feels like he kills everyone around him. So let him know that his sweet, kind heart forced Lady fucking Death to bring someone back to life. That's the kind of power he has. Next time your number is up though, I'm taking you back into this box where you belong, got it?"

Tony nodded, his voice still not usable. Lady Death was gone, just like that. Tony crawled up out of his grave, his right arm was limp and useless, and his left arm hurt just as it always had. Damn, being dead had gotten rid of those pains, but now his left arm was in constant pain and his right might as well have been dead. He smiled gently when he saw the house. He was home.

-

Peter woke to a warm hand combing through his hair. He couldn't quite open his eyes.

"The doctor's on the way...for both of you." Pepper's voice sounded shakey. "Um...I mean, Cho is coming."

"Get ahold of Strange too. I might need him." A painfully familiar voice said.

"But...h-how are you...? I mean I'm so happy, but...how?"

"A present from Lady Death."

"Well, if anyone deserved it."

"It wasn't for me...it was for Peter." That voice sounded so much like Tony Stark, and he sounded so tired.

"I didn't know he was that bad, Tony... I...he didn't seem like himself...but, I didn't think it was that bad and... I didn't know about May."

"It's not your fault, Pep." There was a gentle kissing sound. "How's Morgan been?"

"Alright...she didn't really understand what happened... I think she still expected you to come home, so...telling her shouldn't be too bad."

"No one else though...I want some time to adjust. It's um...weird...being alive."

"I've missed you."

"You too, Pep." Another kiss.

Peter knew it was a dream, it had to be, but he opened his eyes. Tony Stark was next to his bed, his right arm hanging uselessly at his side, his left hand in Peter's hair. "Did I make it through the wall?"

"No, Peter. I followed you out. And we're going to talk about what a stupid move that was...but after. Okay?"

"You're alive?"

"Yeah."

A loop of gold light filled the room and Strange stepped through. He nodded at Pepper before looking from Peter to Tony. "Hello."

"You don't seem surprised." Tony glared at the man in the cape.

"It was a possibility."

"If my good arm wasn't dead from saving the universe, I'd punch you."

The doctor opened his mouth, then closed it. "Understandable."

"Make sure my kid's alright."

"Will do." Strange nodded, then looked at Tony's arm. "You'll likely be able to use a prosthetic. I hear you're good at designing those."

"Less talking, more helping." Tony snorted. Then he turned to Peter. He leaned forward and kissed Peter's forehead. "I'm here, kid. You got to stay with me."

"Only if you do." Peter said. Pretty sure he was hallucinating.

"I love you, Peter."

"I love you too, Mr. Stark."

"Pretty sure you can tall me Tony...or Dad. I liked when you called me that. Mr. Stark is what I called my dad." Tony smiled gently.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Peter asked, but he smiled. If this was a dream, it was the best one he'd had since before he'd been Dusted.

"Nope. Wide awake. But we'll get you up to speed once you've recovered. Rest up, kid."

-

Lady Death watched, invisible. She hated that she'd had to give up a soul. Tony Stark had really done enough and deserved his rest, but...it was worth letting a soul back onto Earth to see that small smile on Peter Parker's face.

**Author's Note:**

> Take care.


End file.
